Author: Heather Gabriel

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Where Do I Begin…?

I’m rapidly approaching my fourth ‘official’ anniversary of being The Singing Seamstress; the journey has been longer because the shift from amateur to professional took some time leading up to the official naming. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? While I’ve been fascinated by sewing and fabrics and design and creation pretty much my whole life, there was one particular moment when I decided to turn seamstressing from a hobby to a profession. Like any superhero, I have an origin story. Not that I’m saying I’m a superhero. I’m merely saying that Wonder Woman and I have never been in the same room together at the same time, and we’ll leave it at that.

The first Santa costume photo that I posted way back in 2016!

I was actually in the medical field a few years ago, and in honesty I’d had I had no designs on getting into bridal alterations. But the fates intervened and I received a frantic call from a theatre friend saying that one of her best friends was in a pickle. She begged me for my help, and who was I to turn down a friend’s friend in distress?

It turns out the aforementioned friend was the father of a bride, the wedding was two weeks away, and the person they had originally hired to do the alterations (a biddy from their church) didn’t do a good job on the gown and – furthermore – was not returning phone calls. Sight unseen, I offered my own assistance.

The dress turned out to be a strapless mermaid; one of the most difficult fashions to alter well. To this day… well, I can’t say I HATE a particular style to alter, but I CAN say this style is near the bottom of my list. Additionally, they’re specifically designed for a particular body type, and I’ve lost track of the times I’ve tried to convince a bride of the ‘not particular body type’ to go with another style and they refuse, only to wonder why they don’t look like they thought they would in it. But that’s another blog entry.

The original, disappeared seamstress had only taken the dress in at the very top. She had not extended her seams down the entire length of the dress, which is a vital component to any alterations to it. She also hadn’t bustled it, which, again, had to be done for this fashion. No wonder the bride and her dad were ready to have father/daughter matching heart attacks.

I will admit that my hands shook the entire time I was working on it. I was convinced I had bitten off more than I could chew, and I just KNEW I was going to only further disappoint the bride. But halfway through the project – and there’s no way to say this without sounding all Kung Fu – something happened, and my hands steadied and my nerves calmed. A sort of sereneness washed over me and with each stitch I grew more confident in my abilities. In the past, I can created and altered dozens – if not hundreds – of everyday clothes and theatrical costumes. In the end, this was no different, except for the pressure I had put on myself.

In any event, I finished the dress and promptly proceeded to drink an entire bottle of wine upon its completion. It was a sort of celebration, because I had survived the ordeal unscathed. Additionally, the realtered gown looked absolutely stunning on the beautiful bride, and I can still remember the tears in her dad’s eyes when he saw his ‘little girl’ all grown up and wearing white.

I figured – and rather naively so from today’s perspective – that this was probably as bad as it could get, so I decided to ditch my corporate position and try out professional seamstressing for a living. It took the largest leap of faith I ever had to take, and those early days were filled with hit-and-miss. But word of mouth spread, and my work began to speak for itself, and I realized the pros definitely outweighed the cons. So here I am to stay.

Now… tell me YOUR origin story!

Until next time!

Heather

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Holy Halloween, Charlie Brown!

One of my earliest memories was catching a rebroadcast of the annual Halloween special, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. The one scene that stuck with more than any other was good ol’ Charlie Brown himself trying to make a ghost costume out of a sheet and ending up with about a dozen eye holes. Needless to say, all he got was rocks in his candy basket.

Now, I’m not saying that witnessing that led me to become a seamstress, but I certainly carried the vision into my adulthood, and am bound and determined that any Halloween-type costume I do is a grand sight better than the holey sheet. (Although, if you’re bound and determined to go retro, I’ll be more than happy to discuss my nominal fee to repurpose a sheet as a replica of Charlie’s costume.)

I’ll be honest; I make a decent living from doing bridal gowns and Santa costumes for the most part. I don’t NEED to do ‘everyday’ costumes. But I certainly do enjoy making them when time allows. I recently had the joy of replicating one of Elton John’s flamboyant costumes for a client who wanted his own Rocketman-themed party, and it really felt good to stretch the creative muscles. And God help me whenever the Texas Renaissance Festival comes to town; I can create pirate and wench costumes in my sleep (and probably actually have done so).

Gone are the days of the old five-and-dime-store purchases of a boxed Casper the Ghost costume that consisted of a flimsy white plastic onesie and a half-mask. Halloween today is a special day for children from age 1 to 101. And it seems that store-bought costumes – the only standbys of the latest superhero or cartoon character – aren’t enough for many, as no one wants to come to the same party in the same costume, not unlike two female movie stars wearing the same gown to the Academy Awards red carpet.

All this being said, I understand the need for an inexpensive, homemade costume when it comes to a pinch (even with all my experience, there’s been many an October 30th that’s rolled around that’s found me frantically digging through my closet for inspiration). As much as I’d love to be able to dedicate a month or two each year just crafting original costumes for clients, the autumn bridal calendar and the needs of the Santas worldwide don’t allow that to be in the cards. So, gentle readers, here are some ideas that might help you craft your own costume in the meantime:

Zombieland – this is one of the easiest costumes to make because there are no rules, and no two zombies are alike. Grab any clothes from your closet, the more ill-fitting the better. Squirt them with washable stage blood or – believe it or not – that concentrated fruit punch stuff you can squirt into a water bottle, which tends to wash out pretty easily. You can go full-on zombie makeup, or else just mess up your hair and snarl a lot.

Trading Places – If you’re a couple, why not go as each other? Even if one half of the couple is of a vastly different size from the other, the bad fit would add to the humor. As a last resort, hit the Goodwill store and buy something that LOOKS like the other person would wear.  You can even turn it into a game helping out the hubby with his makeup or the wife with her 5 o’clock shadow.

Cartoon Network – The nice thing about dressing up as a cartoon character is that the costume on the original character isn’t in reality, so ‘close enough’ will work. Grab jeans and a white shirt, tie a blue bandana around his neck, and bam! Fred from Scooby Doo. Or a green t-shirt and brown pants and – rut-ro! – you also have a Shaggy. Take a single-color large pillowcase, cut holes for head and arms, belt it, add a matching bow to your hair, and now you’re a PowerPuff Girl. White pants, blue polo shirt, red bandana, and a white bicycle helmet, and suddenly you’re Speed Racer. The possibilities are endless.

The Power of the Tee – If you don’t have the time or energy to craft an entire costume, get yourself a large white t-shirt, a thick black marker, and write your character on it. It can be a pun or joke, a bad superhero logo, whatever you like. Make the cheapness of it the joke.

Good Grief – Speaking of t-shirts, grab yourself a yellow one and a roll of black duct tape, tape a zigzag onto the shirt, and you can be an instant Charlie Brown. Or, REALLY get into the spirit and cut a bunch of eye holes all over an old white sheet. But be prepared to get rocks.

Well, what do YOU think, gentle readers? What’s an inexpensive Halloween costume YOU’VE worn or have thought of?

Until next time!

Heather

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Superman’s Seamstress (or, “What a Load of Bull”)

As a girl growing up, I had a singular problem with the whole Superman/Lois Lane relationship dynamic. According to the official story, Clark Kent never told Lois – nor Jimmy Olsen nor anyone else outside his immediate family – that he was really the Man of Steel because he was afraid they’d be targeted.

Sure, I can give points for caring, but in reality every other issue of the comic book dealt with Lois being kidnapped to lure her hero into a trap because she was “Superman’s Girlfriend.” Whether or not she knew Superman’s secret identity, she was “part of the family” and prime pickings for Lex Luthor’s evil plans.

(And to the comic nerds who follow me and my musings: Yes, yes, I know, the writers of the Superman mythos finally “evolved” their story so where she now knows. But I’m a traditionalist.)

Personally, I think he never told her because he couldn’t trust her to keep her trap shut.

Now, I find myself in that exact same predicament. Because I’m privy to a secret that rivals the knowledge of Superman’s identity itself. Cue the music! Look up in the sky! It’s a bird… it’s a plane… It’s… It’s…

Toro.

That’s right, I’m part of the inner circle who knows the identity of the NFL team Houston Texans’ mascot.

How did I get to enjoy such a treasured secret? Simple. Because I had the honor of being selected by Toro’s human counterpart (let’s call him “Clark”) and his lovely woman to create his wedding tuxedo and perform alterations on her wedding gown for their recent nuptials.

Now, I can’t tell you how much I want to splash the wedding photos all over the interwebs, but I’ve been sworn to strict secrecy, and this is a charge I take to heart. Sure, being known as the official seamstress of Toro’s Wedding could give me some amazing street cred, but it would go against the explicit and implicit wishes of my clients, and that’s something I simply cannot do.

Photo courtesy of Magek Photography, www.magekphoto.com

What I CAN tell you is that both “Clark” and his lovely bride are amazing, friendly people; honest, engaging, and honorable, just like you’d like your superhero and his gal to be. If you want proof, just check out this wedding photo courteously provided by Magek Photography showing Toro brightening people’s lives at SOMEONE ELSE’S wedding. He treasures the value of his fans and likes to give back to the community as best as he can.

And that’s no bull.

 

Until next time!

Heather

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The Curious Case of the Two-Dress Discount

It was an otherwise-normal day when I received the telephone call from the Valley Girl. (For purposes of this blog we’ll call her Minnie.)

After I got over my initial amusement of the über-Californian accent (and I’m sure she had the same reaction to my own Southern Lady drawl), I listened up as Minnie asked me if I could give her a discount on two wedding gowns that she needed for her nuptials that would need substantial alterations.

TWO wedding gowns? I thought. I didn’t express that out loud, but I have to confess I had to decline any offer of help, explaining that the gowns didn’t match each other, so trying to get them in sync with each other would take much longer than the timeframe she gave me, if ever at all. Additionally, I felt compelled to point out to Minnie that my skill set was very specialized, and as such I couldn’t offer a multiple-dress discount. We traded back and forth a few more questions and answers, then ended the conversation and hung up. I thought we were done.

And so we were, until about two weeks later, when she called back. I was only partially surprised; I figured she had called other seamstresses only to learn that most of them required a six-month lead time. In Minnie’s case, she needed the first dress within eight weeks – which is typically my own normal lead time – but the second dress she wouldn’t receive until two weeks before that second ceremony.

Believe me when I say that no one – NO ONE – worth their salt or price point offers alterations with such short notice.

As Valley Girlish as her voice was, her pleadings started to wear me down. I WANTED to help her, but felt the need to “keep it real.” I explained to her that my rate for the first dress would be at my normal amount, but the rate for the second dress would be twice that. She naturally had questions, and I answered her to the best of my abilities, which apparently satisfied her because she almost immediately set up an appointment for the first dress.

Now comes the part where the Singing Seamstress learns a Great Life Lesson: You can’t judge a book by its cover, and you can’t judge a bride by her accent. It seems that Minnie was Asian, and God help me but I couldn’t help but smile at her Valley voice coming out of her Singaporean mouth.

Minnie explained that her first ceremony was to take place in Singapore with her family, with the second “American” ceremony to happen shortly thereafter back here in Texas, hence her need for the two dresses. I’m well-traveled and well-versed enough to know that other cultures, such as her family’s, thrive on negotiation for goods and services; something that’s not the norm here in the gool ol’ U S of A. I reiterated my previously quoted rates and even followed them up with a text. Once she received the texted rates, she agreed and I got to work on the first dress.

If I may say so myself, that first dress came out fabulously and she happily paid the quoted rate for it. She even sent me photos of her and her new husband from that first ceremony.

Soon, however, in the seamstress/client sense of the phrase, the honeymoon was over. We met for our appointment to work on the second dress. I had printed out my standard contract sheet to present to her. To my surprise, she balked at the doubled rate we had previously discussed. Whether selective hearing or a breakdown in communication was involved, I don’t know. Fortunately, I still had the text I had sent her that included the doubled-rate quotation, and I whipped out my phone to show her.

She whipped out her own phone to show me the text that she had received from me, and at that moment we both learned Great Life Lesson Number 2: If you use Google Voice to send a text, don’t use more than one paragraph. Because I had sent my text in two paragraphs, and apparently Google Voice in times like this only sends the first one. And – OF COURSE – the part about the doubled rates was in the second paragraph. So we were both right and both wrong.

Deep down, it pained me to re-renegotiate the rate for her second dress. I’m a small business owner that caters to a niche market and every penny counts. For a brief moment, I entertained dark thoughts from my Evil Sith Lord side about sticking to my guns because I knew that no other seamstress would take her at such late notice. I had her in my grasp, but…

But, of course I couldn’t do that to her, nor to myself. We entered our final round of negotiations in good faith on both sides, which each walked away from the experience with warm feelings. And I learned Great Life Lesson Number 3: I can zealously guard my highly specialized skill sets against those who wish to underpay me, but sometimes a negotiation is just a meeting of two different cultures and not a slight against my own talents.

Until next time!

Heather

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It’s Gonna be All White

As a wedding gown designer, you can bet your bottom dollar that I know all about the color white. Without tooting my own horn too badly, I can assert that I am a veritable expert on whites, to the extent that I can rattle off quite a few shades of the color – yes, white has shades – including white, white smoke, snow, honeydew, mint cream, azure, Alice blue, ghost white, seashell, beige, old lace, floral white, ivory, antique white, linen, and lavender blush. And I won’t even go into the plethora of off-whites and their own shades.

(You Santas out there reading the blog, don’t worry; I’m equally well versed in the different hues of red, but that’s for another time.)

This topic came to me because – as you may or may not know – we recently had a death in the family, and for some odd reason I remembered that, for the longest time, white was the color of mourning, not celebration. You can most likely thank Queen Victoria for starting the trend when she wore a white lace and silk-satin gown when she married Prince Albert in 1840. The outrage it inspired was – according to reports – considerable, but that didn’t stop dozens, hundreds, then countless thousands brides from copying her in the following years.

I sometimes wonder what life for me as a seamstress might have been if Old Vicky had stuck with tradition and gone with a colored gown. It’s easy to envision a wedding industry turned on its ear due to the myriad of options in flowers, decorations, and even bridesmaids dresses when they’re not depending on the base, central color of white.

Actually, across the globe, colored wedding gowns are still en vogue. Chinese brides get to start off in a red gown – signifying the local color of joy and luck – then get a second ceremony in a white gown and then finally a third in a color of their choice. In Spain, they go for black gowns that signify staying with their husbands until death. Morrocan brides – for better or worse – wear bright yellow, a color that is supposed to scare away evil spirits and – presumably – traditional seamstresses. Koreans overlay their own white gowns in lime green, and in India the colors of the rainbow are fair game for a traditional wedding dress.

In closing, I also can’t help but wonder what kind of world it would be if we retained the color white as our traditional color of mourning. Step outside of real life and think of every movie that has a funeral scene with somber blacks and cloudy skies. Maybe, just maybe, the light and bright colors would instead help us through those dark times.

Until next time!

Heather

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June Bride? Be Ready to Sing a Different Tune

Everyone knows that THE month to get married in is June, right?

Right?

Not so fast, dear readers.

True, the month of June itself was named after Juno, who just happened to be the Roman goddess of marriage, so there’s tradition there. Also in generations past, June was chosen as the best wedding month because – in those days before, you know, Women’s Lib and the Pill – it was typically inevitable that the pitter-patter of tiny feet would follow around nine months exactly after the “I do’s” and they didn’t want child-birthing to get in the way of a good harvest. And it didn’t help that the early 20th century pressed the issue with a song from the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and the title of a Bette Davis movie both named “June Bride.”

But – believe it or not – June isn’t the most popular month nowadays to get married. Today, that honor falls on October. June is in second place, and – amazingly – November comes in third.

Personally, I find it odd that this is the case, if for no other reason than tax breaks. I have a ‘friend of a friend’ who married, eventually divorced, and remarried a few years later. Her two anniversaries were, respectively, January 3 and January 2. Her reasoning was that she could – tax-wise – get the most out of the year. While you don’t need to go to such extremes, it IS helpful to be married for the majority of the year (any time July 1). However, I’ve known too many brides and grooms that don’t really care about the tax ramifications and delve right into an autumn wedding.

On the other hand, weddings later in the year when the temperatures aren’t quite at summer levels – particularly in tropical and desert climes – can make life so much more bearable where the makeup won’t run and the hair won’t frizz. October and November are also in that ‘sweet spot’ between the summer vacations and the holiday festivities. Even honeymoons could be cheaper if your destination is considered ‘off-season.’

Long story short, if you’re in the mood to get married but don’t want to wait until next summertime, now is the time to MOVE IT OR LOSE IT. We’re three months out and if you need any dresses created or altered, you need to act swiftly indeed.

Let’s hear from YOU: did you get married at an untraditional time? What are some pros and cons?

Until next time!

Heather

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‘Tackling’ My Latest Project

People love secrets. There’s something primally perfect when you’re privy to a situation and you have to stop yourself from chanting I know something youuuuuu don’t know… I know something youuuuuu don’t know… to those surrounding you.

That being said, I’m not being coy when I tell you about my new project and the fact that I can’t give you any names involved with it. Discretion is the better part of valor, and fear of litigation is the better part of discretion, and I’m nothing if not discrete. However, I CAN tell you that I am currently working on a special bridal gown project for someone who works for a very local, very major, professional football team.

The bride-to-be in question – let’s call her Fiona the Football Fan – works at this organization’s front office with the official title of “Administrative Assistant – Pro Personnel.” Here’s how I got involved in Fiona’s nuptial journey:

Fiona came across a bridal gown that was being sold by another bride who for some reason never wore it. Unfortunately, she bought it based on photos and description only – she didn’t have a chance to try it on before she purchased it. But the opportunity to purchase a $2,600 dress for only $600 was too much of a lure to pass up.

Almost inevitably, the dress didn’t fit properly when it was delivered. The top was the perfect size, but the hips of the dress were too narrow for the accompanying hips of Fiona. As you can see from this photo, the gown is in what we call a mermaid style. The more discerning eye can also tell from the photo that there was no way in hell there was enough fabric for me to let it out on the seam. Creative alternatives were immediately launched.

What I ended up doing was to first insert godets (official New Webster’s Dictionary definition for you non-sewers: a triangular piece of material inserted in a dress, shirt, or glove to make it flared or for ornamentation) in the side seams at the hip. Next, it was a veritable treasure hunt as I went searching for a reasonable match to the silver appliqué. Improvisation, thy name is Singing Seamstress, and I think the finished product conveys the impression that the gown was always meant to look that way.

So, gentle readers, sound off! What’s a shining example of YOUR improvisation skills at the sewing machine?

Until next time!

Heather

P.S. Now, don’t think that my TEXAN adventure is done with the completion of this gown. Apparently other members of this organization have HUDDLED together and have asked me to buy YARDS of fabric and do some costume work on a special member of their squad… no BULL! More details as I can give ’em. 😉

HTSS
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You Better Not Pout, You Better Not Cry… Santa’s Costuming is Nigh

Dateline: the middle of June in Houston.

Those of my readers who are reside in other more northern states or overseas might not fully appreciate this, but that means it’s summer in Texas. Which means bone-melting temperatures and soul-crushing humidity. I honestly can’t fathom how the West was won in the old days before the invention of air conditioning. If it had been me being directed to blaze that new frontier, all you would have seen of me was the cloud of dust my horse kicked up as we sped away to gentler climes in, say, Canada.

A certified, authentic, and genuine TEXAS SNOW GLOBE

As such, Christmas tends to be the last things on our minds in the Lone Star State in the summertime. However, if you’re planning on playing Santa or Mrs. Claus this year, believe it or not, NOW is the time to get your orders in for your costumes.

Even as a little girl, I could tell my true Santas apart from the wannabes every time I hit the malls. Fake beards aside, the sight of boot-tops camouflaging dress shoes or ill-fitting worn-thin polyester pants and jackets made my heart sink. Those were the times my parents would have to cover for the ersatz Santa with mumbled words about a too-busy Santa and his army of ‘helpers.’

On the other hand, nothing – and I mean NOTHING – put me in the Christmas spirit more than seeing a fully costumed and committed Kris Kringle, resplendent in beautiful costume from head to toe. It’s something that I’ve carried into my adulthood, and even was a driving force in deciding to specialize in custom Kringle costumes as a career.

Now, at the risk of gender generalization, I can’t think of a bride on the planet in her right mind who would first contact me or another dressmaker about designing and creating her wedding gown a month out from the ceremony. But men are masters of procrastination. It’s incredibly ingrained in their DNA to wait until the last minute. Don’t believe me? Next Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day, check out how many guys are at the temporary florist tent set up in the nearest Kroger parking lot.

I feel like a true Grinch when November rolls around and I have to turn down job offers from well-meaning men wanting to spread a little personalized Christmas cheer. Not only are they too late, they are WAY THE HECK too late. Unless you want to grab a cheapo getup from the local costume store, you’re going to need to leave months for a professional job to be done on your own outfit.

Like any self-respecting seamstress – singing or otherwise – I take pride in my work. From my days of working as a costumer in community theatre, there was a recurring joke/not joke when it came to providing custom clothing for the actors: Good, Fast, or Cheap. Pick any one. Crafting a worthy costume takes time; fittings take time, confirming the client’s vision and desires takes time, meticulously planning and creating with the proper materials takes time.

In short, gents, if you’re wanting to look like a worthy Santa this festive season, NOW is the time to get in touch with me, because I can guarantee you it will take the summer and autumn to provide you with a costume that you and I could both be proud of.

However, I can promise you; it’s worth the wait.

Until next time!

Heather

P.S. SPEAKING OF TEXAS…

I simply HAD to include this little story. There is an amazing Fort Worth, Texas artist named Jack Sorenson. Check out his website and be sure to ‘like’ his Facebook page! His paintings of Texas life – past and present – enthrall many an art lover, including Houston-area seasonal Santa David Applegate.

Original Artwork by Jack Sorenson

David contacted both me and Jack to see if we could craft a costume based on the above painting. If you know me, you know I never shirk from a challenge (in fact, have you ever encountered ANYONE who admits they DO shirt challenges? But I digress.) and once I was given the green light I was proud to use the paining as a template and provide David a real-life version of it, just like this:

If YOU have any special design needs, or even a vision of a special-made-to-order Santa costume, drop me a line! Just be sure to do it soon… and beat the holiday rush.

HTSS

Until next time Dear Readers, may all your bobbins be full and all your seams be straight.Heather

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5 Things that Make You Think She’s a Bridezilla when She Really Isn’t

There’s a great – if not also trite – saying: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

I like to add, “True; but you CAN find out what it’ll cost.”

You’ve heard me from time to time refer to the dreaded subclass of client, the Bridezilla. It’s a quaint term designed to lump a myriad of ‘special-case’ customers into a single group. The defining characteristics of a bridezilla are things like being overly demanding, impossible to please, mercurial, and/or unwilling to work WITH the wedding expert in question.

Yes, you’ve heard me talk about them in my blogs (the names have been changed to protect the innocent), and a Tale of a Bridezilla is always good for some extra views from people who enjoy Singing Seamstress Schadenfreude. But today I’d like to dig a little deeper – open the cover, as it were – and discuss a special topic: when you think she’s a bridezilla… but she’s not.

Sure: if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… but as I’ve grown my business and worked with all ilks of brides, brides-to-be, bridesmaids, and their families, I have to say I’ve developed a deeper understanding of some of them when they’re – how can one put this? – not at their best. Here are five main reasons I’ve discovered that someone who may SEEM like a bridezilla may NOT be.

  1. Cultural differences – I have a friend who has owned many cars in his life. He recently told me that by far the best car-buying experience he’d ever had was when he bought a Saturn, mainly because back when they were sold they all cost the same. No dickering, no “let me check with my manager,” no pressure to get the greatest deal. It got me thinking about the number of times that the prices of my products and services have been haggled over. While by no means am I racially profiling, I couldn’t help but notice that many of these times involved people from cultures and heritages where haggling and bartering were a way of life. In the United States, we tend to haggle over the largest-ticket items (homes, cars, vacations, etc.) but we tend to blindly pay whatever the sticker price is on everything else (can you imagine hitting the local grocery store and haggling over every item that runs across the scanner? “How much for the milk? $2.29? I’ll give you a buck-fifty, no higher. Okay, go check with the manager”). Once I realized that, I’ve been able to get over my initial hackle-raising when someone wishes to haggle and instead pleasantly point out that, with this particular seamstress, you pay whatever’s on the price tag.
  1. “The Jitters” – Sometimes I get stressed. Oftentimes I feel I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, or I’m convinced I’m not good enough to make a living at this, or that I should retreat to the cold comfort of a desk job where there’s no creativity but a decent dental plan. And it’s easy to get caught up in my own little universe. That’s when I have to pull myself out of the funk whenever I encounter a jittery bride. Because no matter how much I feel overwhelmed, it has to be peanuts compared to the bride. Let’s face it: none of us are sunshine and roses when the bullets are flying. Planning a wedding is a months-long, 24/7 version of handling road rage. Just check out where a wedding falls in the top 10 life stressors; it’s worse than losing your job or facing retirement.
  1. It Ain’t Cheap – Not that I’m exactly swimming in the dough here, but there have been plenty of times in my past where I’ve been so broke that I couldn’t afford to pay attention. We’re talking dinners made up of swiped McDonald’s ketchup packets and hot water to make ersatz tomato soup; you can’t call it a shoestring budget because you can’t afford shoestrings. And I KNOW I wasn’t all sunshine and smiles during those times. Embarrassment or outright humiliation jockeyed for position with envy of those who had while I was a have-not. Now, typically a bride has dreamt of her special day for years if not decades, and when reality comes crashing into a fairy tale, our reactions can be severe. Today, the national average of a wedding is $33,931.00. Let me enunciate: THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND PLUS. And if you think there’s no way you’d ever get near that cost, play this game for kicks. What may look like a bridezilla walking through my door may instead just be a soul-crushed little girl on the inside who’s desperately trying to hold onto her fairy tale. It’s my job to help her through this by explaining my rates and why I charge them, and even to offer less expensive alternatives.

  1. Pregnancy – I won’t have to go into too much detail here. Pregnancy. Hormones. Body image. Terror of the future. Swollen ankles and stomach-turning cravings. Possibly shotguns involved.
  1. Mommie Dearest – There’s no easy way to tackle this topic, so I’ll just get right to it. Too often I’ve dealt with a bride and things have been under control, or at least controllable. But then the Mother of the Bride arrives (usually late to the appointment in a flurry of words and arm-waving), and typically that’s when things start to go off the rails. Now, to be honest, more often than not it’s the parents of the bride who foot the bill, so they have a vested interest – literally and figuratively – in every aspect of the pending nuptials. In those instances they SHOULD have a say. But I’ve had my fair share of Momzillas who take over every conceivable aspect of the wedding, blind and deaf to the wants, needs, and desires of their daughter, and we all know that poop trickles downhill, so it goes from mom to daughter to me. If you think that the direct correlation between parents paying and parents having an impact on their children is off, just ask yourself: have you heard of a GROOMzilla? In these cases where mom attempts a coup, I find it best to schedule special solo appointments with just the bride.

Well, there you go: five very actual reasons why we should take a breath or two when dealing what seems to be a bridezilla. What are YOUR thoughts? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Until next time!

Heather

Posted on

Calming the savage beast

Truth, they say, is stranger than fiction. When you work with the general public, people can be very strange indeed. As a professional seamstress, it means that I work with all kinds of people, not just brides but cosplayers and renaissance actors as well; notwithstanding everyday folk looking to have their skirt or pants hemmed. My degree is in psychology (not fabricology as would seem logical) and I have always enjoyed the study of human nature and how quirky we often seem. The following story will appeal to you closer in the realm of the ridiculous as opposed to what is accepted as normal behavior.

It’s been my experience that brides come from all walks of life. As for this bride in question, I’ll call her Stacey (all names in this blog have been changed to protect the innocent, the excessively crabby, or those with no sense of humor.) Stacey was exceptionally high strung. In fact, she was so anxious that when the day she came for her fitting, she ran late as she had forgotten to put the dress in the car and had to turn around to go get it. When Stacey finally walked through my front door, she was so flustered, she was talking a mile a minute and radiating so much angst to the extent that it was stressing me out. In order to restore decorum (and my sanity,) I took the dress out of Stacey’s hands and instructed her to sit, like you would an errant puppy. I almost laughed out loud when she obeyed me upon command! I then placed a very large glass of red wine and two recently homemade brownies in front of her. She smiled cheerfully and proceeded to partake in my offerings. After about an hour with some more wine, my gifts enabled her to slow down to a discernible elocution instead attempting to comprehend the babble of a crazed woman on Adderall. Only then was Stacey calm enough to proceed with the fitting.

Now, it wasn’t just this particular fitting that Stacey’s manic reflex kicked in. During every appointment, I had to infuse her with wine and chocolate to get her to calm down in order to be able to proceed. In the meantime, I endured frantic texts and emails in the middle of the night, lamenting about everything from the fit of the bodice, to the cut of the under petticoat, to where she exasperatingly culminated with; “I just want to throw the dress out and start over again.”

Putting on my best business practices hat, I decided to ignore all Stacey’s late-night communications. The following mornings, calm and reassuring responses soothed her trepidations. She always had a ready apology for her craziness from the night before. Don’t get me wrong, Stacey was a very lovely person and I enjoy working with many different types of personalities. It was my pleasure to help her through the process, regardless of how off-beat it may have been at times. By the time I applied the final touches, Stacey’s wedding dress was absolutely divine, she looked like a queen.

In my trade, it seems wine and chocolate are just as valuable tools as needle and thread.

May all your seams be straight!

~Heather