Tag: wedding

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The Yucky Horror Seamstress Show

It being Halloween and all, I thought I’d share with you GHOULISH TALES OF TERROR. Then I figured it’d be better if I downshifted it a bit, and instead just give you my top five “ickiest” moments as a professional seamstress. What makes them totally spinechilling is that they’re ALL REAL…!

[INSERT SPOOKY MUSIC HERE]

  1. HAMMER GYM OF HORROR – This particular smelly situation has happened to me more than once. Twice, in fact; which is twice more than it should have happened. I refer, of course, to the client who has somehow misjudged his or her timing and has opted to hit the gym before an appointment with me and equally opted to not shower beforehand. Now, you may have heard that I have previous extensive experience in community and professional theatre. And let me tell you that one person’s body odor can wreck an entire production. Same with those who come to my admittedly small studio to get measured or fitted. I beg of you, please take the as-little-as-two-minutes’-time it takes to freshen up the smelly bits. We’re working in close quarters, don’t you know.
  2. SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS – As a seamstress, ,I have to maintain as much of a detachment to the bodies of my clients as much as a gynecologist. To me, a naked body is something needed to be clothed, preferably by something I’ve created. However, that does NOT mean I encourage you to go commando, whether you’re male or female… and I’ve had both. Please trust me when I say that no seamstress on the planet wants any extra surprises when measuring inseams. However, if you feel you MUST be ‘free and unfettered,’ please refer to Number 1 above and don’t add inappropriate smells to the inappropriate sigh
  3. WHAT, WILL THESE STAINS NE’ER COME OUT? – It’s part of my job to take garments that customers have found that are frequently secondhand and used (the garments, not the customers). I actually get much joy from repurposing or altering something that’s already been created into something new and personal and tailored to the new owner. That being said, there’s been at least one misguided Santa in my life who opted to bring me a full costume that needed re-rendering that hadn’t been washed, laundered, or drycleaned. Like, EVER. The stains and the smells jockeyed for position as to which was the most overt. I actually sort of felt for the kids who might be encountering this particular Jolly (and Smelly) Old Elf at the mall or parties. So much so that I dipped into my own pocket to have the thing professionally cleaned and practically deloused so that I could work on it without gagging. Do me a favor and have your costume, clothes, or gown drycleaned before bringing it to me. If you’re in a pinch, know that I have an entire drawer filled with coupons I’m willing to share.
  4. O HOLEY NIGHT – Believe it or not, there’s something worse than a client who has opted to go commando (see Number 2 above). And that’s wearing undergarments that are – how shall we phrase this? – ‘well worn.’ Yes, yes, I’ve heard the old joke, “Of COURSE I have holes in my underwear; how else would I put my legs through?” but there’s a limit, folks. And while we’re on the topic, skidmarks are something I wish to see ONLY on the road. Not in your unmentionables. Alas, I’ve had both bride and Santa greet me with this. So, I beg of you, when prepping for an appointment with me (or any other seamstress or tailor out there), remember what your mother told you: wear clean underwear!
  5. THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK SOUL – So, most of my above examples have been pretty olfactory centered. Yes, stains are bad and smells are worse. But what is truly horrifying is some of the horrendous attitudes I’ve encountered in my professional life. And not just directed toward me. Too often I’ve come across bridezillas and Santazillas alike. On occasions that are supposed to be all love and happiness, they bare the darkest parts of themselves that are best hidden, if not exorcized. I got into this business because I wanted to use my talents to bring happiness into people’s lives on their special days and to leave the world a little cleaner than I found it. I vastly prefer it when people make it easy for me to do so.

So, those are MY tales of terror! What are YOURS?

Have a safe Halloween… and don’t eat the candy while trying on your wedding gown!

Until next time!

Heather

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The big deal about small business

There’s a saying in the stage theatre industry that comes from the great dramatic teacher Constantin Stanislavski: There are no small roles, only small actors. I recently discovered that you could easily change that to the wacky world of entrepreneurship: There are no small businesses, just the humans that run them.

You’ve heard me talk of my history as a weekend seamstress and part-time theatrical costumer as I sold medical supplies and performed other corporate gigs. You’ve also heard me self-congratulate my decision to “go pro” and become the professional Singing Seamstress you know and love today.

But what I haven’t gone into is exactly how such a decision and turning point in my life could have had an equally negative impact on me. That’s right: it isn’t all glitz and glamour.

I’ll preface this with an assurance that I’m not going anywhere; I’m not laying down my hand and walking away from the table. And I certainly don’t intend for this to be a rant-fest. But a couple of issues arose recently that made me – perhaps for the first time – honestly question if what I do is worth the cost of what I do, emotionally and otherwise.

I won’t go into particulars and I certainly won’t name names, but I have to admit if you decide to do an online search of my ratings, you’ll most likely come across what I’m talking about.

The first instance occurred a few months ago. Now, you’ve heard me joke about bridezillas, and you’ve also read me talk about how in many cases they are simply misunderstood. But sometimes, you come across what I term a ‘professional complainer’ – someone who is either never happy or expects to get something lessened in price or free if they express real or feigned unhappiness. These are the type of people who, when dining out, have to have the manager called over to state that it was “the worst experience they ever had” – despite it being a normal experience for anyone else – and not stopping until the meal is comped. And if the meal – or other service like, say, altering a gown – isn’t comped, they feel the need to take their story to the world and facts be darned.

That’s the situation I found myself in. I’ll summarize the experience with my admission that I finally realized the customer isn’t always right. When a bride wants a gown a certain way, and you know it won’t work, don’t cave in to her demands. Especially if it’s a bride who turns out to be a professional complainer who also likes to blame the world at large for everything wrong in her life (as evidenced by her own history of social media posts). She publicly railed against me on my own Facebook page with a litany of false and inaccurate accusations, and I replied in kind. Apparently that really affronted her, because the next I knew, I was being notified by the Better Business Bureau of a complaint with them.

Now, do you know what stung worse than the complaint (which was eventually dismissed)? The accuser’s statement that I should “stick with costuming.” Though it was designed to be belittling (and admittedly had that effect on me), it also denigrated the dozens or hundreds of cosplayers and Renaissance Festival actors and performers that I’ve taken care of over the years.

That woman’s barbs truly did their damage to my commitment, and for the first time I actually wondered if it’s ‘worth it’ to continue working with brides if it meant dealing with more of her ilk. Eventually, I was able to shrug it off and dive right back in, just in time for the ‘busy season.’

The second instance came shortly thereafter. It was actually sort of surreal. The bride in question sent me an email to the effect of “I like you and your work, but I’m going to give you a bad review.” I tried working with her (and indeed also before this point when I once again found myself trying to acquiesce to a bride’s unrealistic demands of their visions for their gowns), but she still publicly posted on a review site. Oddly, she too opted to take a dig at the supposedly relative ‘easiness’ of costuming and how I should just stay with that for my career path.

This time, it took a lot longer – and not a few bottles of wine – before I got out of the resulting funk. At first, I was ashamed of my tears, but was assured by family, friends, and supporters alike that they’d be more concerned if I wasn’t devastated. My pain meant I cared. I honestly had to go through the stages of grief like a bereaved widow to come out of this one.

Again, I replied in an equally public forum; not to get the last word or to be defensive, but to assure clients old and new that there are usually two truths in any given situation, and that they needed both versions to come to educated decisions on their own. Hopefully, my track record of more than 100 five-star reviews outweigh these two 1-stars that hang over me.

As a small businesswoman, I’m realistic. I know I’ve brightened the lives of countless dozens of brides and their families. I know that I can’t please everyone. I know now that the customer isn’t always right and that I’m not in the wrong for pointing it out to them.

I also know the Small Business Association statistics that 30 percent of new businesses fail during the first two years of being open, 50 percent during the first five years, and 66 percent during the first 10. The SBA goes on to state that only 25 percent make it to 15 years or more. Though the odds are better than the commonly held belief that most fail within two years, there are still many businesses that are closing down every year in the United States. I’ve made it longer than many, but not yet as long as most. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable enough in my chosen career path to rest easy. But that doesn’t mean I stop trying.

So, thank you for allowing me to vent. Now, I’m going to get back to sewing. Wedding gowns and costumes alike.

 

Until next time!

Heather

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Where Do I Begin…?

I’m rapidly approaching my fourth ‘official’ anniversary of being The Singing Seamstress; the journey has been longer because the shift from amateur to professional took some time leading up to the official naming. Time flies when you’re having fun, right? While I’ve been fascinated by sewing and fabrics and design and creation pretty much my whole life, there was one particular moment when I decided to turn seamstressing from a hobby to a profession. Like any superhero, I have an origin story. Not that I’m saying I’m a superhero. I’m merely saying that Wonder Woman and I have never been in the same room together at the same time, and we’ll leave it at that.

The first Santa costume photo that I posted way back in 2016!

I was actually in the medical field a few years ago, and in honesty I’d had I had no designs on getting into bridal alterations. But the fates intervened and I received a frantic call from a theatre friend saying that one of her best friends was in a pickle. She begged me for my help, and who was I to turn down a friend’s friend in distress?

It turns out the aforementioned friend was the father of a bride, the wedding was two weeks away, and the person they had originally hired to do the alterations (a biddy from their church) didn’t do a good job on the gown and – furthermore – was not returning phone calls. Sight unseen, I offered my own assistance.

The dress turned out to be a strapless mermaid; one of the most difficult fashions to alter well. To this day… well, I can’t say I HATE a particular style to alter, but I CAN say this style is near the bottom of my list. Additionally, they’re specifically designed for a particular body type, and I’ve lost track of the times I’ve tried to convince a bride of the ‘not particular body type’ to go with another style and they refuse, only to wonder why they don’t look like they thought they would in it. But that’s another blog entry.

The original, disappeared seamstress had only taken the dress in at the very top. She had not extended her seams down the entire length of the dress, which is a vital component to any alterations to it. She also hadn’t bustled it, which, again, had to be done for this fashion. No wonder the bride and her dad were ready to have father/daughter matching heart attacks.

I will admit that my hands shook the entire time I was working on it. I was convinced I had bitten off more than I could chew, and I just KNEW I was going to only further disappoint the bride. But halfway through the project – and there’s no way to say this without sounding all Kung Fu – something happened, and my hands steadied and my nerves calmed. A sort of sereneness washed over me and with each stitch I grew more confident in my abilities. In the past, I can created and altered dozens – if not hundreds – of everyday clothes and theatrical costumes. In the end, this was no different, except for the pressure I had put on myself.

In any event, I finished the dress and promptly proceeded to drink an entire bottle of wine upon its completion. It was a sort of celebration, because I had survived the ordeal unscathed. Additionally, the realtered gown looked absolutely stunning on the beautiful bride, and I can still remember the tears in her dad’s eyes when he saw his ‘little girl’ all grown up and wearing white.

I figured – and rather naively so from today’s perspective – that this was probably as bad as it could get, so I decided to ditch my corporate position and try out professional seamstressing for a living. It took the largest leap of faith I ever had to take, and those early days were filled with hit-and-miss. But word of mouth spread, and my work began to speak for itself, and I realized the pros definitely outweighed the cons. So here I am to stay.

Now… tell me YOUR origin story!

Until next time!

Heather

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Superman’s Seamstress (or, “What a Load of Bull”)

As a girl growing up, I had a singular problem with the whole Superman/Lois Lane relationship dynamic. According to the official story, Clark Kent never told Lois – nor Jimmy Olsen nor anyone else outside his immediate family – that he was really the Man of Steel because he was afraid they’d be targeted.

Sure, I can give points for caring, but in reality every other issue of the comic book dealt with Lois being kidnapped to lure her hero into a trap because she was “Superman’s Girlfriend.” Whether or not she knew Superman’s secret identity, she was “part of the family” and prime pickings for Lex Luthor’s evil plans.

(And to the comic nerds who follow me and my musings: Yes, yes, I know, the writers of the Superman mythos finally “evolved” their story so where she now knows. But I’m a traditionalist.)

Personally, I think he never told her because he couldn’t trust her to keep her trap shut.

Now, I find myself in that exact same predicament. Because I’m privy to a secret that rivals the knowledge of Superman’s identity itself. Cue the music! Look up in the sky! It’s a bird… it’s a plane… It’s… It’s…

Toro.

That’s right, I’m part of the inner circle who knows the identity of the NFL team Houston Texans’ mascot.

How did I get to enjoy such a treasured secret? Simple. Because I had the honor of being selected by Toro’s human counterpart (let’s call him “Clark”) and his lovely woman to create his wedding tuxedo and perform alterations on her wedding gown for their recent nuptials.

Now, I can’t tell you how much I want to splash the wedding photos all over the interwebs, but I’ve been sworn to strict secrecy, and this is a charge I take to heart. Sure, being known as the official seamstress of Toro’s Wedding could give me some amazing street cred, but it would go against the explicit and implicit wishes of my clients, and that’s something I simply cannot do.

Photo courtesy of Magek Photography, www.magekphoto.com

What I CAN tell you is that both “Clark” and his lovely bride are amazing, friendly people; honest, engaging, and honorable, just like you’d like your superhero and his gal to be. If you want proof, just check out this wedding photo courteously provided by Magek Photography showing Toro brightening people’s lives at SOMEONE ELSE’S wedding. He treasures the value of his fans and likes to give back to the community as best as he can.

And that’s no bull.

 

Until next time!

Heather

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The Curious Case of the Two-Dress Discount

It was an otherwise-normal day when I received the telephone call from the Valley Girl. (For purposes of this blog we’ll call her Minnie.)

After I got over my initial amusement of the über-Californian accent (and I’m sure she had the same reaction to my own Southern Lady drawl), I listened up as Minnie asked me if I could give her a discount on two wedding gowns that she needed for her nuptials that would need substantial alterations.

TWO wedding gowns? I thought. I didn’t express that out loud, but I have to confess I had to decline any offer of help, explaining that the gowns didn’t match each other, so trying to get them in sync with each other would take much longer than the timeframe she gave me, if ever at all. Additionally, I felt compelled to point out to Minnie that my skill set was very specialized, and as such I couldn’t offer a multiple-dress discount. We traded back and forth a few more questions and answers, then ended the conversation and hung up. I thought we were done.

And so we were, until about two weeks later, when she called back. I was only partially surprised; I figured she had called other seamstresses only to learn that most of them required a six-month lead time. In Minnie’s case, she needed the first dress within eight weeks – which is typically my own normal lead time – but the second dress she wouldn’t receive until two weeks before that second ceremony.

Believe me when I say that no one – NO ONE – worth their salt or price point offers alterations with such short notice.

As Valley Girlish as her voice was, her pleadings started to wear me down. I WANTED to help her, but felt the need to “keep it real.” I explained to her that my rate for the first dress would be at my normal amount, but the rate for the second dress would be twice that. She naturally had questions, and I answered her to the best of my abilities, which apparently satisfied her because she almost immediately set up an appointment for the first dress.

Now comes the part where the Singing Seamstress learns a Great Life Lesson: You can’t judge a book by its cover, and you can’t judge a bride by her accent. It seems that Minnie was Asian, and God help me but I couldn’t help but smile at her Valley voice coming out of her Singaporean mouth.

Minnie explained that her first ceremony was to take place in Singapore with her family, with the second “American” ceremony to happen shortly thereafter back here in Texas, hence her need for the two dresses. I’m well-traveled and well-versed enough to know that other cultures, such as her family’s, thrive on negotiation for goods and services; something that’s not the norm here in the gool ol’ U S of A. I reiterated my previously quoted rates and even followed them up with a text. Once she received the texted rates, she agreed and I got to work on the first dress.

If I may say so myself, that first dress came out fabulously and she happily paid the quoted rate for it. She even sent me photos of her and her new husband from that first ceremony.

Soon, however, in the seamstress/client sense of the phrase, the honeymoon was over. We met for our appointment to work on the second dress. I had printed out my standard contract sheet to present to her. To my surprise, she balked at the doubled rate we had previously discussed. Whether selective hearing or a breakdown in communication was involved, I don’t know. Fortunately, I still had the text I had sent her that included the doubled-rate quotation, and I whipped out my phone to show her.

She whipped out her own phone to show me the text that she had received from me, and at that moment we both learned Great Life Lesson Number 2: If you use Google Voice to send a text, don’t use more than one paragraph. Because I had sent my text in two paragraphs, and apparently Google Voice in times like this only sends the first one. And – OF COURSE – the part about the doubled rates was in the second paragraph. So we were both right and both wrong.

Deep down, it pained me to re-renegotiate the rate for her second dress. I’m a small business owner that caters to a niche market and every penny counts. For a brief moment, I entertained dark thoughts from my Evil Sith Lord side about sticking to my guns because I knew that no other seamstress would take her at such late notice. I had her in my grasp, but…

But, of course I couldn’t do that to her, nor to myself. We entered our final round of negotiations in good faith on both sides, which each walked away from the experience with warm feelings. And I learned Great Life Lesson Number 3: I can zealously guard my highly specialized skill sets against those who wish to underpay me, but sometimes a negotiation is just a meeting of two different cultures and not a slight against my own talents.

Until next time!

Heather

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It’s Gonna be All White

As a wedding gown designer, you can bet your bottom dollar that I know all about the color white. Without tooting my own horn too badly, I can assert that I am a veritable expert on whites, to the extent that I can rattle off quite a few shades of the color – yes, white has shades – including white, white smoke, snow, honeydew, mint cream, azure, Alice blue, ghost white, seashell, beige, old lace, floral white, ivory, antique white, linen, and lavender blush. And I won’t even go into the plethora of off-whites and their own shades.

(You Santas out there reading the blog, don’t worry; I’m equally well versed in the different hues of red, but that’s for another time.)

This topic came to me because – as you may or may not know – we recently had a death in the family, and for some odd reason I remembered that, for the longest time, white was the color of mourning, not celebration. You can most likely thank Queen Victoria for starting the trend when she wore a white lace and silk-satin gown when she married Prince Albert in 1840. The outrage it inspired was – according to reports – considerable, but that didn’t stop dozens, hundreds, then countless thousands brides from copying her in the following years.

I sometimes wonder what life for me as a seamstress might have been if Old Vicky had stuck with tradition and gone with a colored gown. It’s easy to envision a wedding industry turned on its ear due to the myriad of options in flowers, decorations, and even bridesmaids dresses when they’re not depending on the base, central color of white.

Actually, across the globe, colored wedding gowns are still en vogue. Chinese brides get to start off in a red gown – signifying the local color of joy and luck – then get a second ceremony in a white gown and then finally a third in a color of their choice. In Spain, they go for black gowns that signify staying with their husbands until death. Morrocan brides – for better or worse – wear bright yellow, a color that is supposed to scare away evil spirits and – presumably – traditional seamstresses. Koreans overlay their own white gowns in lime green, and in India the colors of the rainbow are fair game for a traditional wedding dress.

In closing, I also can’t help but wonder what kind of world it would be if we retained the color white as our traditional color of mourning. Step outside of real life and think of every movie that has a funeral scene with somber blacks and cloudy skies. Maybe, just maybe, the light and bright colors would instead help us through those dark times.

Until next time!

Heather

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June Bride? Be Ready to Sing a Different Tune

Everyone knows that THE month to get married in is June, right?

Right?

Not so fast, dear readers.

True, the month of June itself was named after Juno, who just happened to be the Roman goddess of marriage, so there’s tradition there. Also in generations past, June was chosen as the best wedding month because – in those days before, you know, Women’s Lib and the Pill – it was typically inevitable that the pitter-patter of tiny feet would follow around nine months exactly after the “I do’s” and they didn’t want child-birthing to get in the way of a good harvest. And it didn’t help that the early 20th century pressed the issue with a song from the musical Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and the title of a Bette Davis movie both named “June Bride.”

But – believe it or not – June isn’t the most popular month nowadays to get married. Today, that honor falls on October. June is in second place, and – amazingly – November comes in third.

Personally, I find it odd that this is the case, if for no other reason than tax breaks. I have a ‘friend of a friend’ who married, eventually divorced, and remarried a few years later. Her two anniversaries were, respectively, January 3 and January 2. Her reasoning was that she could – tax-wise – get the most out of the year. While you don’t need to go to such extremes, it IS helpful to be married for the majority of the year (any time July 1). However, I’ve known too many brides and grooms that don’t really care about the tax ramifications and delve right into an autumn wedding.

On the other hand, weddings later in the year when the temperatures aren’t quite at summer levels – particularly in tropical and desert climes – can make life so much more bearable where the makeup won’t run and the hair won’t frizz. October and November are also in that ‘sweet spot’ between the summer vacations and the holiday festivities. Even honeymoons could be cheaper if your destination is considered ‘off-season.’

Long story short, if you’re in the mood to get married but don’t want to wait until next summertime, now is the time to MOVE IT OR LOSE IT. We’re three months out and if you need any dresses created or altered, you need to act swiftly indeed.

Let’s hear from YOU: did you get married at an untraditional time? What are some pros and cons?

Until next time!

Heather

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‘Tackling’ My Latest Project

People love secrets. There’s something primally perfect when you’re privy to a situation and you have to stop yourself from chanting I know something youuuuuu don’t know… I know something youuuuuu don’t know… to those surrounding you.

That being said, I’m not being coy when I tell you about my new project and the fact that I can’t give you any names involved with it. Discretion is the better part of valor, and fear of litigation is the better part of discretion, and I’m nothing if not discrete. However, I CAN tell you that I am currently working on a special bridal gown project for someone who works for a very local, very major, professional football team.

The bride-to-be in question – let’s call her Fiona the Football Fan – works at this organization’s front office with the official title of “Administrative Assistant – Pro Personnel.” Here’s how I got involved in Fiona’s nuptial journey:

Fiona came across a bridal gown that was being sold by another bride who for some reason never wore it. Unfortunately, she bought it based on photos and description only – she didn’t have a chance to try it on before she purchased it. But the opportunity to purchase a $2,600 dress for only $600 was too much of a lure to pass up.

Almost inevitably, the dress didn’t fit properly when it was delivered. The top was the perfect size, but the hips of the dress were too narrow for the accompanying hips of Fiona. As you can see from this photo, the gown is in what we call a mermaid style. The more discerning eye can also tell from the photo that there was no way in hell there was enough fabric for me to let it out on the seam. Creative alternatives were immediately launched.

What I ended up doing was to first insert godets (official New Webster’s Dictionary definition for you non-sewers: a triangular piece of material inserted in a dress, shirt, or glove to make it flared or for ornamentation) in the side seams at the hip. Next, it was a veritable treasure hunt as I went searching for a reasonable match to the silver appliqué. Improvisation, thy name is Singing Seamstress, and I think the finished product conveys the impression that the gown was always meant to look that way.

So, gentle readers, sound off! What’s a shining example of YOUR improvisation skills at the sewing machine?

Until next time!

Heather

P.S. Now, don’t think that my TEXAN adventure is done with the completion of this gown. Apparently other members of this organization have HUDDLED together and have asked me to buy YARDS of fabric and do some costume work on a special member of their squad… no BULL! More details as I can give ’em. 😉

HTSS
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5 Things that Make You Think She’s a Bridezilla when She Really Isn’t

There’s a great – if not also trite – saying: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”

I like to add, “True; but you CAN find out what it’ll cost.”

You’ve heard me from time to time refer to the dreaded subclass of client, the Bridezilla. It’s a quaint term designed to lump a myriad of ‘special-case’ customers into a single group. The defining characteristics of a bridezilla are things like being overly demanding, impossible to please, mercurial, and/or unwilling to work WITH the wedding expert in question.

Yes, you’ve heard me talk about them in my blogs (the names have been changed to protect the innocent), and a Tale of a Bridezilla is always good for some extra views from people who enjoy Singing Seamstress Schadenfreude. But today I’d like to dig a little deeper – open the cover, as it were – and discuss a special topic: when you think she’s a bridezilla… but she’s not.

Sure: if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… but as I’ve grown my business and worked with all ilks of brides, brides-to-be, bridesmaids, and their families, I have to say I’ve developed a deeper understanding of some of them when they’re – how can one put this? – not at their best. Here are five main reasons I’ve discovered that someone who may SEEM like a bridezilla may NOT be.

  1. Cultural differences – I have a friend who has owned many cars in his life. He recently told me that by far the best car-buying experience he’d ever had was when he bought a Saturn, mainly because back when they were sold they all cost the same. No dickering, no “let me check with my manager,” no pressure to get the greatest deal. It got me thinking about the number of times that the prices of my products and services have been haggled over. While by no means am I racially profiling, I couldn’t help but notice that many of these times involved people from cultures and heritages where haggling and bartering were a way of life. In the United States, we tend to haggle over the largest-ticket items (homes, cars, vacations, etc.) but we tend to blindly pay whatever the sticker price is on everything else (can you imagine hitting the local grocery store and haggling over every item that runs across the scanner? “How much for the milk? $2.29? I’ll give you a buck-fifty, no higher. Okay, go check with the manager”). Once I realized that, I’ve been able to get over my initial hackle-raising when someone wishes to haggle and instead pleasantly point out that, with this particular seamstress, you pay whatever’s on the price tag.
  1. “The Jitters” – Sometimes I get stressed. Oftentimes I feel I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, or I’m convinced I’m not good enough to make a living at this, or that I should retreat to the cold comfort of a desk job where there’s no creativity but a decent dental plan. And it’s easy to get caught up in my own little universe. That’s when I have to pull myself out of the funk whenever I encounter a jittery bride. Because no matter how much I feel overwhelmed, it has to be peanuts compared to the bride. Let’s face it: none of us are sunshine and roses when the bullets are flying. Planning a wedding is a months-long, 24/7 version of handling road rage. Just check out where a wedding falls in the top 10 life stressors; it’s worse than losing your job or facing retirement.
  1. It Ain’t Cheap – Not that I’m exactly swimming in the dough here, but there have been plenty of times in my past where I’ve been so broke that I couldn’t afford to pay attention. We’re talking dinners made up of swiped McDonald’s ketchup packets and hot water to make ersatz tomato soup; you can’t call it a shoestring budget because you can’t afford shoestrings. And I KNOW I wasn’t all sunshine and smiles during those times. Embarrassment or outright humiliation jockeyed for position with envy of those who had while I was a have-not. Now, typically a bride has dreamt of her special day for years if not decades, and when reality comes crashing into a fairy tale, our reactions can be severe. Today, the national average of a wedding is $33,931.00. Let me enunciate: THIRTY-THREE THOUSAND PLUS. And if you think there’s no way you’d ever get near that cost, play this game for kicks. What may look like a bridezilla walking through my door may instead just be a soul-crushed little girl on the inside who’s desperately trying to hold onto her fairy tale. It’s my job to help her through this by explaining my rates and why I charge them, and even to offer less expensive alternatives.

  1. Pregnancy – I won’t have to go into too much detail here. Pregnancy. Hormones. Body image. Terror of the future. Swollen ankles and stomach-turning cravings. Possibly shotguns involved.
  1. Mommie Dearest – There’s no easy way to tackle this topic, so I’ll just get right to it. Too often I’ve dealt with a bride and things have been under control, or at least controllable. But then the Mother of the Bride arrives (usually late to the appointment in a flurry of words and arm-waving), and typically that’s when things start to go off the rails. Now, to be honest, more often than not it’s the parents of the bride who foot the bill, so they have a vested interest – literally and figuratively – in every aspect of the pending nuptials. In those instances they SHOULD have a say. But I’ve had my fair share of Momzillas who take over every conceivable aspect of the wedding, blind and deaf to the wants, needs, and desires of their daughter, and we all know that poop trickles downhill, so it goes from mom to daughter to me. If you think that the direct correlation between parents paying and parents having an impact on their children is off, just ask yourself: have you heard of a GROOMzilla? In these cases where mom attempts a coup, I find it best to schedule special solo appointments with just the bride.

Well, there you go: five very actual reasons why we should take a breath or two when dealing what seems to be a bridezilla. What are YOUR thoughts? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

Until next time!

Heather